Dried Fruit
by Spoot Poot
Summary: I have decided to post this after writing it a year ago. Its Marvel. Its Loki. Its Darcy. OTP. Change my mind. So this is how the first encounter went down. Enjoy! More on the way!
1. Dried Fruit

Spoot: I know I was supposed to stop…

Loki: *Yanks chain* You'll stop when I say. Now write.

Asgardian Courtship

Or

Dried Fruit

Thor's head tilted to the side as he watched Hulk pick his teeth with bone fragment belonging to that of the recent creature he devoured. Odinson didn't even know Hulk could just eat creatures like that. He honestly found it amusing…and disgusting at the same time. Especially after the belching began. Watching that green creature burp up mutilated body parts was…nightmare inducing. Nevertheless, the day was going pretty well. Jolly Green had joined in the fight, as asked. And Loki was keeping him in line…as asked. Everything was working properly and their little war had been won.

Loki appeared above Hulk's head and hugged it's sides then looked down at his green pet. "Nicely done! I'm indeed proud this day!" He pat Hulk's cheek then slid down his arm and rested his feet on the ground. He looked to his brother and jerked his head to fling his hair from his face. "Well, as instructed, I brought the beast and I've kept him subdued and in order. My prize…" He muttered as he held out a hand. The Tesseract was promised to him. Little did he know…

"Ah yes, your blue cube thing. I don't have it." Thor said proudly, adding an ear to ear grin. He was even more pleased when Loki became upset. The only thing to cause his glee to end would be the sudden refusal to fall in line. But…Thor had a backup plan. Sure enough Loki turned to Hulk and snapped his finger. "You want to eat someone? Eat that moron. Have at him! Go for the gold old boy! Rip him limb from…" He trailed off when his nose caught the sent of something…wonderful.

"Go on! That sounds really exciting!" Came the voice of the most beautiful woman in all the cosmos…so Loki thought. He slowly turned and met eyes with Darcy. Jane Foster's assistant. Thor had invited her for one reason. Obedience training. "Well? Rip him limb from limb right? Was that it?" She scrunched up her face as she moved some stray hair from her lip. This had Loki in a small fit of trembles. Anything that woman did made him weak in the head. He was never truly sure why either.

Thor knew what went on. He had encountered the same feeling upon meeting Jane. Her very breath made him sigh in contentment. He loved that woman more than he loved a good brawl. The difference between brothers here, was the understanding, and lack thereof. Thor knew what the love of a woman was. Loki did not. Loki had never loved anyone other than himself.

"You can speak." Darcy chuckled out. She held up her hand, pretending to hold a dog treat. "Come on! Who's a good boy? Speak! Woof! Come on!" Her laugh ended her teasing. Thor even let out a chuckle before interjecting. "You do know he can transform. A giant wolf. It's quite interesting really. He did that all the time when we were boys. I rode on his back." Darcy gave him a weird look as her brow arched. "N'kaay…." She turned back to Loki and smirked. "So? You gunna be a good boy or do I gotta taze ya!" To add insult, she held up the device used to shock whomever she pleased. She was good with it. Loki shook his head violently then held up his hands. "I will behave…" He said in a submissive tone. "Good!" She yipped, putting the taser back in its place.

"Good!" Thor repeated. He put his hands on his hips and looked up. "And good job to you Banner! You're on fire!" With that, Hulk turned a bit, inspecting himself. "Not…not really on fire, friend. I mean, you've done better than expected." Thor elaborated, needing to for him. "Is this normal? I mean is he always this stupid?" Darcy asked. This didn't go over well.

"HULK NOT STUPID!" The beast bellowed. His fist came shooting toward her, causing her to squeak and shield her face. Nothing happened. Everything was still and calm. The only noise was a grunt. She looked to Thor and took note of his expression. Stunned. She gasped and looked toward Hulk and saw what was causing the surprise. Loki had blocked the blow. He was inches from her body, close enough to touch. His arms up, wrapped around a huge green fist, struggling with all his strength to keep that appendage from touching her.

She brushed some of her hair back behind her ear and looked Loki up and down, taking extra time on his back. Something about his back…made her lids droop over her eyes. For the first time, she saw him as someone more than who he was. She saw him as a great protector. And that was a huge turn on for her. Save her life and you will have a sweetie. She watched his arms with lidded eyes. Watched them strain to keep the fist from crushing her. She heard him grunt one more time and her mind cleared out the lust fog.

"Hey hey! Easy Big Guy! I didn't mean it! Chillax!" She barked. Hulk eyed her then lowered his arm, causing Loki to plop forward hard. She gasped and knelt beside him. "Please don't be dead…" She whispered as she rolled him onto his back. She cringed when she noticed his now broken nose. She wasn't sure if he contracted that from the fall or from the struggle. She looked his face over, studying his closed eyes. "Come on Vampire Boy…." She muttered. How did you wake up someone who was out cold? Taze them? No…that would kill him.

Slap them, right? Maybe that was a bad idea, he was a bit broken already and she was pretty strong. " Shit…" She muttered when her mind settled on the conclusion. She shrugged finally and leaned in. "Ah well. You're cute so maybe this won't blow." Her lips touched his as if she were a prince and he were Snow White. His eyes popped open and his brain exploded. Thor reached up and covered Hulk's eyes. Hulk shoved his hand back and the two began to engage in a childish slap fight.

Her lips were like pillows made of cherry flavored candy. Soft and sweet. This had his body dissolving. Liquefying his bones. Why was this happening? Why was he in a state of disrepair? What was this! The kiss broke and she slowly pulled away then opened her eyes. "Dude…you're alive." She said softly, adding a sweet smile. "It worked. Thanks Disney!" Loki wasn't sure who Disney was but he would be sure to find her and thank her personally. He couldn't find any words, mostly because he didn't want to lose the taste on his lips. In fact, he sucked them into his mouth.

Watching him made her giggle. She got to her feet and held out a hand. "Come on, get up. You fell." She said in her usual dry way. Most times her humor missed its mark, but in this case…Loki giggled then shut himself up. He slapped her hand away and scrambled to his feet. From there he pointed a dagger, putting it in her face, inches from her eye. "Whoa. Where were ya hiding that thing….pointy…"

"What spell have you cast sorceress….undo it…now. Or I'll split your skull…."

"Kinky." She said lazily, pushing the dagger away with a finger. She looked up a bit, away from him. "Hey! Yah, your brother is totally weird. Didn't you say he was adopted?" Thor was approaching, laughing as he trotted. Loki turned to him as he put another dagger in her face. She just fearlessly pushed that one away as well. "He means well-brother…stop, stop doing that, where are you even keeping them?"

"What are you talking about, that's not me-oh the dagger thing. Up my sleeves."

"What did you think I was talking about?"

"Never mind. Forget it."

"No! I wanna know!"

"It's incredibly stupid, drop it."

"By Odin's Beard you will tell me!"

Darcy was watching this go on, going from one brother then the other. Her patients wore thin, that or she lost interest, so she broke it up. She pushed herself in between them and held up her hands. "Yah, ok. That's enough! Don't make me call your mommy!" Thor's face contorted into something down trot. "Our mother was killed by a dark elf." He muttered. Loki held up a finger. "Your mother." He corrected as he looked to her. "I thought it was funny." He finished.

"Damn you guys are morbid." She said dully as she crossed her arms. She was speaking over Loki, but the moment his statement hit her ears her cheeks burned a hot pink. "Are you alright Darcy? You look ill. Perhaps…" Thor left it alone as he watched her look to Loki. He let out a 'Harumph' and walked away, remembering that every time his shirt came off Jane's cheeks would burn too. This was just their way. Not his.

"You….thought it was funny?" She muttered, "No one gets me. No one gets my humor. It's like everyone on planet earth eats god damn bran muffins for breakfast." She watched his lip curl upward "More fiber my dear. That way they can defecate beyond the stick so tightly shoved up there ass…." She snorted once he finished his joke and covered her mouth, cracking up behind her hand. The dry wit was even better when he used foul language. He chuckled behind her fits and crossed his arms, watching her. Someone found him funny. T'was a good day indeed.

"Might I offer up a deal?" He asked once she finished her laughing. She eyed him and put her hands on her hips. "You allow me to indulge you further. The deal is this: if you lose interest you are free to go, no questions asked. But…if you find yourself conceding…you must remain with me." Her breath caught in her throat, making it hard to speak even though she was without realizing. "Holy shit are you asking me out on a date?!"

"Beg'pardon?" He choked out, leaning forward a bit. "A date? My dear that is a dry fruit." The opportunity could not be passed up. "Soooo…you're a date." She said dryly. This time it was a shoot and miss. He looked confused. She sighed, thinking to herself that she got her hopes up, until…

"I don't understand. How am I a dry fruit?" She looked to him and tilted her head. "Do you even know what a fruit is?!" She barked. "I'm not stupid, woman. Of course I do. It's a sweet edible…well…fruit! What else would it be?!" A smile grew across her face as she dug in her pocket. She held out her phone once she found a video of a Gay Pride Parade. She pointed at a few men. "Fruit. It's slang. Little harsh, I know. Considering it's 2018…" He watched the men on the tiny screen. The phone didn't confuse him. Bruce let him play on his all the time. It was the action on the screen itself that had him confused. "So…a fruit…is slang…for a man who indulges in…OHH!" He looked up at her with narrow eyes. "WITCH!" He snapped.

She just giggled and put her phone in her back pocket as always. "So, you're a date!" She blurted out. He slapped at her, not realizing he was indeed proving her right. "Dry fruit indeed-Do we have a deal or NOT!" He snapped. She chuckled and nodded. "Fine…deal, what? We gotta shake on it or anything?" He shook his head. "It's not that kind of deal, you're allowed to back out."

"Oh how gracious of you." She mocked, adding a lazy curtsy. He was shaking his head. "Darling, you're doing that all wrong. You don't bow, and it would really help if you were wearing a dress." She was giving him this shit eating look that shut him up. "Dried fruit…." He muttered. She nodded. "Dried fruit." She confirmed, patting him on the shoulder. "You were being facetious…" He muttered. She scrunched up her face. "I would say yes, but I don't know what that word means."

As agreed, they took a stroll around the nicer section of Vannahiem. He showed her the garden and enlightened her on a few genes of flower. The tone of the date changed when she remarked that learning was not suitable for such a thing. He suggested she plot the course and she took that and ran. Her plan was simple. Go back to Midgard and actually go on a normal, human, date.

"Burgers and a movie." She said once they were free from the grasp of the Bifrost and safely on the ground. He looked confused. Mostly because Bruce had failed to teach him about this specific thing. She took note of his mystification and pointed out the McDonald's right across the street. "I would also change into something more…inconspicuous." She instructed. He looked down at himself and touched his chest. He didn't see anything wrong with his choice of garments, but conceded and used his magic to dress in a suit of solid black.

Her brow arched a bit as she crossed her arms. "Better…but…around here, people are gunna think you're some kind of emo kid." Something else to confuse him. So he looked up at her and crossed his arms. "Then what would you suggest!" He snapped, growing impatient. She was becoming high maintenance. She ignored his impatience and pulled out her phone. "I swear if you show me another dry fruit I'll maim you."

"Relax Slim…" She was swiping through whatever was on the screen. When she found what she was looking for she held up the device and showed him. "Think you can pull this off?" He scoffed at her doubt and used his magic to copy the picture on screen. Just as he fully transformed a few girls across the street screamed and rushed him. He backed away and held his hands up. "Away with you!" He barked at the teens.

"It's actually him!" A girl screamed. The other latched onto his arm and held up her phone. "I can't believe I'm taking a selfie with Tom Hiddleston!" She squealed. Loki eyed Darcy in a hateful way, thinking this was her plan all along. He was corrected when he saw the look on her face. She seemed…angry. This was confirmed when she yanked the girls away. "Back off…" She growled, causing Loki to grow weak in the knees. A territorial woman…was a desirable woman….

"He's not Tom Hindleburg, or whatever you call him. He doesn't even look like him!" She grabbed Loki's face up in her hand and squished his cheeks. "I mean look at this face! He's way cuter!"

"Bitch please!" One girl barked, but Darcy shut her up, and truly frightened them both when she…hissed at them and bucked toward them ominously. Again, weak was Loki's knees. She looked to him once the two brats had rushed away. "Little bitches." She growled. She eyed his shirt then adjusted it for him. A woman who groomed her suitor? Weak in the knees…

"Alright…burger. Have you ever had one?" She asked, causing him to finally snap out of his musings. "Wha-no. I don't even know what that is." He muttered. She had a smile on her face, seeming joyful at the fact. He wasn't sure why this had her merry but he went with it. Honestly seeing her smile like that made it all worth the trip. He held out an arm and bowed his head for her. "Alright, lead the way."

This had her about ready to shit sunshine. She squealed and grabbed his arm, jerking him across the street. She stopped only once when a car almost crashed into her. Loki watched as she slammed her hands down on the hood. "I'M WALKEN' HERE!" She bellowed, scaring the driver of the SUV. Loki watched as they stepped across the road, and his eyes widened. In the vehicle…Nick Fury's eye widened as well upon realizing who was in front of him.

The transaction went ignored as Darcy yanked the tall man into the building she had her heart set on. It was loud, crowded and smelled awful, so Loki thought. "Mmmh! Smell that?! They just put some fries in the grease! So they'll be fresh, oooh! And lets order some nuggets, wait! Chicken sandwich! WAIT! Nuggets and a chicken sandwich then put the nuggets….IIINNN the sandwich…and just load it down with barbeque sauce…"

Loki was watching her in a state of disgust. "You would eat a chicken? Put it on a slice of bread you say?!" He looked around in confusion as well while he spoke. "How would you nugget poultry anyway…" She giggled and nudged him. "Do you trust me…" He looked to her and shook his head, then spoke when he saw how disheartened she became. "I trust no one my dear, its my way."

She looked up, catching his eyes in hers. "Well, tough titty, you're gunna learn to trust me." She highlighted this by jabbing him in the chest. Her finger bent a bit more than it should. She purred out something inaudible in her throat then put her full hand on his chest. He looked down and watched her hand rest where it landed. This was a tad confusing but he let it happen. He just figured she wanted to touch him. He could live with that.

A woman at the counter cleared her throat suddenly. Loki noticed and looked to her, causing her to gasp. Darcy was still inspecting her date's physic, too enthralled to notice the cashier. "You wish to know what we want to eat?" Loki asked, and the dumbfounded woman nodded. Loki looked up at the menu screen and read over a few things. Most of it was confusing being that he never even heard of the items.

Finally he settled and looked to the woman behind the counter. "I will partake in a…" He looked back up, now forgetting the strange name. "…Quarter Pounder…" He recited. He eyed another item and continued. "And for the lady. Poultry nuggets…but do add them into a sandwich, she seems to fantasy that." He looked to the woman and narrowed his eyes. "So help me…if her feast is anything less than perfect I will not hesitate to disembowel you."

The woman sucked in her lips and nodded. "A'and…to drink…sir?" She asked hesitantly. Loki took one last look at the screen then returned his eyes to her. "Ale." He barked. She hated to do it, but she corrected him. "I'm…sorry sir, we don't have that. Is Pepsi ok?" He jerked away from his date and turned to truly face this wench. He slammed his hands down on the counter and leaned in closely. "Is Pepsi ok…" He growled. "I dunno. You seem to enjoy your existence, yet I've had enough of it. Is death ok?" Darcy flailed her arms as she came back to the universe they lived in. She grabbed Loki and pulled on him hard. "Negative Ghost Rider! We don't do that here!" He looked to her and growled a bit, but gave in and settled for standing behind her.

They got their food and opted for eating off the grounds at Darcy's request. Walking seemed to be something she detested. Loki took note and reminded himself to argue with her on that later. For now his mind was consumed with the smell from inside the brown decorative bag. She hailed a cab and forced Loki into it, laughing at his protest. Once she entered the vehicle she instructed the driver to escort them to an address of her choosing.

Loki couldn't help but be entertained at how well she ordered these humans around. She had a knack for dominance and conquest. Another thing he found alluring about her. He watched the atmosphere from the window change. Where once great buildings stood, now a small township took precedence. He turned his attention to the lady of the car. She too had her attention set on the world outside. "I love fall." She muttered, causing him to smile.

"The crisp air. A sense of magic filling the world. Indeed, a wonderful time of year." He muttered. She looked to him and smiled as well. "So you guys have fall where you're from?!" To this, Loki nodded. "Indeed. And winter. We also get snow. I do enjoy it." His brow arched as his smirk grew. "Fall holds not only great magic, but great birthing as well." She looked confused, "Great birthing? The hell does that mean? You mean like, great people are born in the fall?" She asked, watching him hold up a finger. He nodded. "Myself included." He informed. "Right on the day your people celebrate a Hallowed Eve."

"Your birthday is on Halloween…." She blinked a few times then shrugged. "Yah, saw that coming. Ok…so you celebrate birthdays. What else?" He looked in thought then shrugged. "Weddings. Conquests. Jutanstein."

"Ok, what? That sounded like a fat guy farting."

"Jutanstein. What? Do not tell me you've never heard of it!" She shook her head at this. "It's a simple feast! Comes around after my birth. Give or take a few weeks. We gather'round and enjoy the company we're given and eat!"

"Thanksgiving." She corrected, but he shook his head. "No, no we never slaughtered many a shaman and shipped the survivors off to shitty real-estate." He corrected, causing her to laugh hard. He had to smile, once more she understood the jest. This was becoming comforting almost. She let out a snort, ending her giggle. She noticed he was looking at her in such an endearing way. It caused her to blush and turn toward the front. She bowed her head a bit and tucked her hair behind her ear.

"Why do you do that?" He asked. When she looked to him in confusion, he illuminated, "Tuck your hair behind your ear. A true lady lets her strands flow gracefully." She chuffed a bit and shook her head hard, flinging her hair in all directions. She looked to him from behind a wall of locks. "Is this better?" She barked playfully. It was here the first of what was to be many encounters took place.

He put a tender finger in between the mop and separated her hair a bit. Her face behind the wall was a bright red, almost putting off heat. "Indeed…" He said softly, moving more hair back. "Much better." He concluded, looking into her eyes. Under any normal circumstance this was the part where the budding pair would share a first kiss. However, he was Asgardian and she was Darcy.

"You're blushing Lady Darcy. Have I sickened you…" His tone sly as he leaned in. "To the point of verping." She scoffed, shoving his face away with a hand. The two laughed at their actions then went to looking out the same window. The car had begun to slow to a stop in front of a small cemetery. "He is aware he's dropping us at a sacred ground?" He muttered.

"I told him to. Who doesn't love eating with the dead!" She yelped playfully as she handed over some money. "I do not!" He barked, but she shot him a look so he corrected himself. "But I suppose I could learn to see the hobby of it." She gave a nod, satisfied in dominating him. She was about to say something else but he exited the car. "HEY!" She barked and sat up a bit, turning and watching him vanish behind the cab. "You ass hat! I was…" Her words cut off when her door opened, and there stood Loki, offering her his hand.

She took it hesitantly and allowed him to pull her from the car with poise. It was here he once more brushed tresses from her eyes. After this, he turned and looked to the driver. "Away with you chariot! We will walk from here." The man eyed him then put the car in gear. "Freak." He muttered as he pulled away. Loki shook his head a bit, in confusion, then looked back to Darcy. "Well he was rude." He muttered, averting his eyes to the bag in her hand. It still smelled delicious and his stomach was starting to beg.

She giggled. "Hungry?!" She sang out as she held up the bag. His eyes followed it. She moved it up and down, side to side…and his eyes followed. "Dude, you really are a mutt." She joked, but he ignored her for the bag. As if instructed to, she handed it over. "I'll find us a spot…you can dole out the food. Deal?"

"Deal." Loki muttered, opening the bag and peering inside. She turned and began to walk away. "Don't start without me Fat Boy!" She called over her shoulder. He looked up and jumped a bit. She was already farther away than he would have liked. He closed the bag and quickly caught up with her, not wanting her to get too far…for some reason. She looked to him once he got close enough. "What took you so long?" She asked with a smirk. He shook his head and held up the bag. "This feast is tempting. And…I am indeed hungry."

"Fat." Was all she said. It was meant as a joke but Loki was so wrapped up in his hunger he missed it. He looked down at himself and inspected his build. When he looked up…Darcy was missing. His heart caught in his throat as he looked around at all the graves. When he couldn't spot her, his nerves gave way and he began to breathe heavier than normal. He was about to lose all control when an ear piercing whistle penetrated his brain like an ice pick.

He looked to the left and tilted his head. Every ounce of his being melted into nothing when he spotted her. She was waving him over. When he didn't move right away she put two fingers in her mouth and let out another whistle. "COME ON FAT BOY!" She called. He shook his head hard then trotted her way. "Don't…DO THAT!" He bellowed once he got to her side. She jumped a bit and looked up at him in confusion. "Do what? Whistle?! Jane hates it too. She slapped me once for…"

"No! Not the whistle! The vanishing act!" He barked, causing another jump. She looked him over cautiously. "Wait…were you scared to be alone?" She asked, taking the bag from him before he took a notion to hit her with it. "My dear I have no trouble being alone." He barked, watching her hand instead of looking her in the eye. She was taking his food. "Then what's with the bonkers act!" She barked. He didn't look at her so she held the bag up eye level. Once he looked up, he reached for it. She jerked it away.

"Huh'uh! Why did you freak out?" She stipulated. He watched the bag for a second then looked her in the eye. "I thought I lost you." He said simply. She couldn't help the absurd amount her lids flickered. "Don't think much of it, Woman. I just fear for your safety." The flutter of lashes out of confusion continued. "Are…you for real?!" She barked out. He nodded. "I happen to be bonding with you, woman. Have you not taken notice?" This was so outright it had her in shock. He was down right sincere! No guy she had ever met had ever been so honest. Was this a Loki thing, or an Asgardian thing? Either way she didn't protest.

"I...guess I did?" She said with a tilt of her head. "Come to think of it. Guess I kinda bonded with you too?" She noticed right away the smile that crossed his face. It was a pure one, with no motive behind it other than joy. "You seriously like me?" She asked, deciding to walk down his path of blunt honesty. He nodded then snatched the bag from her. Her eyes rolled and she sat with him by two large Victorian headstones. He took to his task very well considering he had never done it. He held up his food and inspected the wrapper, reading the name on the tag.

He went back to digging in the bag after setting his food to one side. "That one is mine so leave it." He ordered. She watched as he pulled her food from the bag and inspected it. He handed it over once realizing it belonged to her. He was serving her first it seemed. This was confirmed when he refused to even touch his food until he knew she was happy with her meal and eating. She had never met a man like this. No, this wasn't the first time ever meeting Loki. She had seen him a million times before. But this was the first time she truly noticed him.

She shook some weird thoughts from her mind then unwrapped her burger. "Oh hey! Chicken sandwich." She sang out. She squeaked and leaned away as Loki leaned into her. "Lift the breading…there is a surprise in store." He muttered low in his throat. He almost sounded mischievous. She shoved him back and lifted the top bun. "AAAH! Chicken nuggets covered in barbeque?!" She looked up at him with wide eyes. "Loki!? Wha-how?! You…." She swooned a bit, and flushed. "…remembered…" She sighed out wistfully. He nodded and grinned ear to ear. "That servant woman will be happy to know she may live another day."

Darcy was ignoring those threats or…non threats, whatever they were. She was just staring at him in a stupor. The last time she told a guy she wanted some harebrained menu item he told her she was stupid. This guy right here…ordered it for her. A spell had indeed been cast that day. The terms of the deal were working out. Either she rejected him, or she would stay with him. He was winning it seemed.

The date came to a close after a movie neither of them paid any attention too. They had caused trouble in the theater instead and had been ejected half way through the picture. She never had so much fun with a guy. He was just her speed! His crazy matched hers and it was a breath of fresh air. By the time he had walked her home she was in a state of lament.

He stopped in front of her apartment as coached, and looked up. "You dwell here?" He scoffed out, inspecting the run down building. "Oh this won't do." He looked to her, ready to order she find new lodgings, but…went quiet as he observed her. She had her head down, staring at her feet. "Something troubles you Lady Darcy." He attentively spoke. She looked up at him and shook her head a bit. "Oh..nahhh…it's all good in da'hood." She joked, but this time, he saw through it.

"Hoods are not at all well mannered. Not at all. You're troubled." He spoke, this time with more potency. Honesty was the best policy here so she nodded. "Yeah ok I'm troubled. I guess because…" She sighed and shook her head. "Ready for this?" He nodded and inched closer to her without her noticing. "I'm clingy." She huffed out, not wanting to confess that. "I'm tttrroubbled…because I don't want this to end…stupid right…" She looked up at him and jumped a bit when she saw how close he was.

He once more brushed her hair back so he could look into her eyes. "Stupid? No." He said simply. "I have enjoyed my time with you as well. The meal on hollowed ground, the stroll to the playhouse…the rude noises we made during the film show…" He smirked and let out a little chuckle. "And now here we are…you and I." She looked up at him again. She had to remember to stop looking down.

"Our time was spent wisely…and I implore you to have me once more." He said, bowing a bit. She cocked her head and put her hands on her hips. "In English Wonder Boy." She barked in sarcasm. He looked up at her and let a breathy chuckle escape. "English you say? Alright." He took her hand and pulled her in. "Fine. Have it your way. Darcy…the next time I come to call, you will dress how I see fit, and we will do what I ask, as a trade off. Deal?"

She smirked and nudged him. "Deal." She agreed. "Good." He growled then leaned in. Their lips almost touched when the porch light came on. The door opened and Jane presented herself. "Ohhh gross! Did I just interrupt what I think I did? Darcy get away from him, he's smelly!" She barked, making her way down the steps. Darcy pulled away from Loki and covered her face with her hands, allowing Jane to pull her back.

The other woman shot Loki a spiteful look as she escorted her friend away from him. "Go away. We don't want any. Get a job you bum!" She barked, pushing Darcy through the door. "Eeeeww! Just ewww! Stay away from her oh my god!" As Jane insulted the date, Darcy looked back over her shoulder. Her cheeks began to burn a red as she smiled at him. She waved at him on the sly, and he too exchanged the farewell gesture in secret as he smirked.

He bowed a bit and began to verbalize, "Forgive me Lady Jane, I meant no harm or foul intent with Darcy." He looked up with his eyes full of mischief. "This time…." He concluded. "AAUUGH!" Jane, now fed up, removed her slipper and began to beat him with it. He just giggled and blocked his face. Darcy ducked behind the door, peeking at him from her hiding spot. Her smile went overlooked She already found herself picturing the next chance meeting. She even told herself she would leave the taser, Old Rusty, behind. She was sure this was it. And if Jane could have a god, so could she! And that precise god was perfect for her. She became attentive when Loki called to her by name. She watched him block another slipper blow before he called out, "Until we meet again Fair Darcy! I will be dreaming of our next dried fruit!"

The End

Spoot: Please kind sir, no more I beg!

Loki: *Yanks chains* ANOTHER!


	2. Slap Chop

Spoot: Please just let me DIE!

Loki: In time. *Tightens chains*

Slap Chop

Loki marched up to the chamber that housed Heimdall. He crossed his arms once he came to a stop behind the huge man. "I am not some mongrel that can just be summoned by whistle alone." He snarled out. Heimdall didn't look away from watching the stars. "Apparently you can because here you are." Loki's brow augmented into an arch as his eye twitched. "What exactly did you want, you over grown turtle!" He snapped, already fed up with the other man and it had just been seconds. Heimdall looked to him and smirked. "You like causing trouble…"

"Duh." Was all the deity had as response. There was a chuckled before Heimdall spoke. "Then you'll just love this. That lady friend of yours has just invited another man into her dwelling place. She even knows him by name." The smirk on Heimdall's face was enough to show he was being playful, but Loki took this way too seriously. This was something he did not expect. "Open the Bifrost, I wish to eat this man's heart upon roasting it respectively…" Heimdall jumped a bit in surprise. "You really care this much for the young Darcy!" He gasped out as he put the sword in it's place.

Loki stepped into a street lamp's glow and adjusted his headdress. He turned a bit, watching two degenerate men walk by. He took note of what they were wearing and used his magic to combine styles so he could blend in, like Darcy always commanded. He sneered at the ripped jeans and odd saggy baggy t-shirt that displayed a name on it. He wasn't sure who Tool was but decided to ask later. He approached the door and lifted a hand. Before he knocked he looked back over his shoulder at a blue vehicle. He recalled Darcy calling them muscle cars. This must have belonged to that man that had come to call on his woman. A smirk grew across his face.

"I'll get it. Maybe whoever it is can shut this shit show down." Darcy barked at the man in her living room. She opened the door and jumped as a breath caught in her throat. "Loki!" She yelped. He pushed passed her and eyed the man. "Good evening Lady Darcy…and you are?" The man wiped his hand on his pants then held it out. "Auh, sup. Ethan. That's me. Oh hey, you like Tool? Bitchen." Loki ignored the hand and looked to Darcy. "That ugly blue vehicle outside. Is it yours?" He asked the man behind him. "Uuuh…yeah? Am I blocking you?" She was shooting Loki a questioning look. "No." He said simply, looking over his shoulder. "You were…double parked." There was that smirk.

Ethan rushed the window then let out a pained yell. "BLUE! Noo!" Loki chuckled as he looked back at Darcy. He was sure she would be amused by the destruction as well, but she was stern. Hands on hips and lips tight in a line. Loki began to contort into confusion. "What have I done now?" He barked. She ignored him. "Ethan, I'm sorry. I'll pay for whatever he did." She said, leaving his side and coming to the other man's aid to comfort him. This was unheard of! "I won't stand for this!" Loki barked. Darcy shot him a look and told him to sit instead. He actually did as instructed, taking the first seat he could find. "I don't like him." He murmured, watching his lady tend to another man.

"Who is this guy!? Why did he trash my ride!? What did I ever do to you!" The man wailed. Darcy sighed and held out a hand. "Ethan…this is Loki, he's my…eh?" She looked in thought for a while, searching for the proper title. They had never really settled on that. "This him? This the new boyfriend Jane talked about? Thor's brother?" Ethan barked as he looked up at her. She looked to him and opened her mouth. Before she could speak Loki took precedence. "I'll have you know, I am a man you irrelevant twit!"

"LOKI!" Darcy yelped. She couldn't believe he would ever…wait, take that back. He was approaching slowly, trying to intimidate Ethan with his presence. "And as for where I stand with the Lady Darcy…she is in waiting. And I am a suitor…so…" He got right in the other man's face now, towering over him. "Get….out…" He hissed. Ethan scrambled his way out from under the other man and scampered to the door. "WAIT!" Darcy barked and pulled the man into her. Loki stood there in front of them, mouth agape.

"Ethan wait. I'm sorry." She turned to the other man and narrowed her eyes. "I don't think I like this side of you. Ethan is my ex…sure. And yah…he was here trying to get me back…but-wait! How the hell did you even know he was here?!"

"I didn't." Loki lied. "I came calling." He snapped with the cross of his arms. "Funny. My cell didn't go off." She sneered. His brow arched. "Well no, I don't have one of those phones. So I did not technically ring you. I mean I came to collect you." Her stature altered into utmost sass. "Ooh! Collect me?! Oh way to cross the line, shit on it then kick up your heels! What an ass hole!"

"I would never come to collect you."

"Shut up Ethan." She barked over her shoulder without taking eyes off Loki. "You can't come collecting what doesn't belong to you dumbass! I'm not your property! I'm not some trophy or whatever! I'm a woman! A person and people don't get treated like that!" Loki held his hands up slowly and nodded, taking heed. "Agreed. They do not. You misunderstand…" He sighed and lowered his head, allowing himself to be defeated instead of continuing the argument.

"Perhaps I should have rang. Or sent one of those electronic letters…" He looked up with his eyes in hopes to incite her. "You mean an E-Mail? Do you even have a computer?!" She barked. His brow furrowed and he shook his head. "No, what for?" Her eyes rolled and she turned back to Ethan. "Just go. I'll give you some money for an Uber or something." She escorted him to the door and stood, lingering as he called on a ride from this man named Uber. Loki watched them exchange farewells, confused as to why she kept apologizing. Once he was out the door and she was sure he was safe in another car…she shut the door ominously and turned to him.

He stood in the middle of the room feeling so tiny he felt he was actually shrinking. The way she glared at him had him searching the room for the shocker she used. He knew he was about to get a jolt. It already happened twice during times spent together. She took a step forward and he instinctively curled in on himself and transformed into a wolf. Usually this preoccupied her and swayed her anger. Not this time. "Run…" She said in a deep dark whisper…and he took off across the room, scuttling into another on all fours.

Footsteps came closing in and could be heard soon, close to the door Loki was hiding behind. He hunkered down and looked through the crack at the bottom just in time to see feet block some light. He sat upright with haste and settled into the back of the tiny room, hiding behind coats and clothing. He covered his face with a sweater, noting it smelled like her. This action gave his position away. The door swung open and he held his breath.

Darcy scanned the closet then spotted boots she didn't own. "Get out here." She said softly. Her voice was calm but disconcerting. Loki learned right away that her anger was unlike anything he had ever encountered. She could have a smile on her face while she stabbed at you with a fork. He shifted his feet and masked his voice with Jane's. "Darcy, it's me! Chillax. I'm just borrowing a sweater. I can totally fill this one out better than you can." Darcy rolled her eyes and pulled out her phone. "Totally?" She asked playfully as she dialed a number…

"Totally! Dude my bre-tits are way bigger than yours!"

"Dude, harsh." Darcy said in mockery. She was a damned good actress. She put the phone on speaker and waited for an answer. Loki listened to the muffled ringing sounds and searched his mind for something better to get away with. "Dars? The hell it's almost three in the morning-ARE YOU OK!?"

"Totally fine, hey, that sweater you wanted to borrow…"

"I don't want to borrow a sweater Darcy. Your boobs stretch everything out so when I wear your stuff I look like a twelve year old boy." There was a deadness to the sound around them suddenly. Darcy had hung up. "Oh man…Jane…nice try." She muttered. Loki cleared his throat as he pulled his feet into hiding. He masked his voice again with someone else they knew. "Eeehh Darcy! Thank goodness. Listen I'm stuck here in this closet, trying my damndest to calibrate this…well, it's pretty scientific my girl you wouldn't understand. Please don't come in here looking for me, I'm naked."

"Doc…" She muttered, not falling for it, but letting him think. "Yes! Correct. Selvage! Yes! That's me! So…carry on my girl, I'm alright!" She smirked. He got his name wrong. Perfect. "So you forgot your own name again?" She asked, baiting the hook. "YES! Of course, after what Loki did…to my brain, its Swiss cheese in there!" She rolled her eyes again and reached through the coats, grabbing him by the ear and pulling him out. "Come out of the closet we know already!" She barked.

He flailed and blocked his ribs instinctively. That's where she liked to zap him. She just let him go and stepped back, crossing her arms. "Out with it." She ordered. "Alright…" He sputtered as he fiddled with his fingers. "Out with it you say. Well…out with it I shall commence…as soon as I understand as to which it is I am to be putting out…" He knew he made absolutely no sense. And she wasn't persuaded by his absurdity. Her expression made that clear.

He looked up at her with sheepish eyes. "My Rose, please…" He began, but the words caught somewhere and he stood there, mouth open in silence. She cocked her head to the side a bit but nothing more. He sucked in a breath and nodded. "Right. Out with it." He repeated. "I assume you're angry because I destroyed that twit's vehicle." He eyed her again, but she was shaking her head. He blinked a few times and swallowed down dry air.

"Alright. So that was just a fraction of what you're angry about. If you could indulge me…" He looked up again to see she was shaking her head. Once more he swallowed back the nervousness. "Was it…the threats? Because I wasn't serious." He looked up again in hopes that she would yield. No reward. She still stood there firm. "I don't know what you want." He sputtered out. "Not once…" She began, cutting him off. "Not once did you say you were sorry. Not to him. To me! You came barging into my house…to collect me!"

"Is that what this is-"

"Not even close!" She snapped. "Shut up and let me finish. You pull some bullshit stunt coming in here like this, and you were rude as hell to Ethan! Jealousy right?!" He had to tilt his head, confused as to what she meant. "You don't even know! You cant even tell you're doing it! Oh…my god, Oh hell naw! I don't like this side of you! You're like a child! So what, I had some dude in my crib! That doesn't give you the right…"

"You have no right…" He said suddenly, taking her by surprise. "I'm your suitor…and you allowed another man into your chambers." He looked into her eyes. "Respect seems to be a concept lost to you, such as jealousy is one lost to me. I did not appreciate hearing you were inviting a man into the home you invite me into. You belong to me! The very ground you walk on belongs to me! Every thread piecing together your garment belongs…to me!" Her eyes were wide, and this is where their relationship altered. That slap could be heard from down the street.

He reached up and touched his cheek delicately as he looked to her with wide eyes. He was horrified. She too looked aghast at her actions. "You struck me…" He whispered. "I can't believe I did….I can't believe you made me so mad I hit you!" She blurted, causing him to recoil in confusion. "I'm…sorry? I think? I dunno this is new to me." She looked to him and her expression softened. She took his hand from his face and looked over the red spot.

"Where was it in the conversation, at which point. When you decided you needed to attack…" He muttered. She shook her head and sighed. "I dunno…you're over there spittin' some crazy shit. Like…um, seriously? I don't belong to you!" She snapped, now returning to the anger from before. He put a hand up, showing her his palm, like trying to gain trust of a beast.

"But you do. I have decided it." He said softly, purity in his voice. She inspected his palm then looked up at him. "You cant do that. I mean I guess if I were from Asgard, sure. And like, I guess I would dig it y'know! Like that would make me moist. But! But I'm human dude! So…it doesn't work!"

"Then how else can I explain it?" He was sincere. He really wanted to find a better way. To bridge their cultural gap, like Thor had with Jane. Not that he wanted what they had, he preferred the way things were with Darcy. Well...when they were going well enough. She inspected his face again and sighed in content when she noticed the redness from the slap had vanished. "I dunno…" She said quietly, looking in his eyes. "What the hell are you even trying to say?"

He thought a moment then answered. "I'm trying to say you're mine." He said simply, but that was no better, her expression told him thus in time. He nodded. "No good? Hmm…What is it your people say when they wish to set forth a lifelong bond." Her head twitched so hard her cheeks jiggled. "DID YOU JUST!" She bellowed and he looked to her with a blank expression. "Did I just what…"

"Did you…just…JAAAANEEE!" She screeched, but remembered the woman was off with Thor at the Avenger's compound. Loki was almost confused, almost. But instead of furthering that state…he laughed. "Why are you so perplexed?! I'm simply staking claim!" He laughed hard, unable to finish. He didn't even notice she was on her phone now.

"I THINK HE WANTS TO MARRY ME!"

"Darcy! It's three in-WHAAAAAAAT!"

"He…said…he…" She shoved the phone in Loki's face. "TELLHERWHATYOUSAID!" She hollered out in one breath. He took the phone and inspected it then spoke. "I demand we form a lifelong bond. I want her to be mine but she refuses." He said simply, like that wasn't the weirdest most romantic thing in the world. "Oh yah. Totally proposed to you." Jane choked out. "Well what are you gunna do!" Darcy snatched the phone back, flailing and struggling to catch it after losing grip. She caught it before it hit the floor. Now on her knees, she spoke again.

"I dunno?! What do I do?! Like, this is crazy right?!"

"Allow me." Came Thor's voice. He cleared his throat. "Darcy. Say yes." The room was quiet for a second then she looked up. "Why yes?" She asked. "Simple." He said, "He adores you. Always had a fondness to be honest. He'll tell you outright, won't you brother!?"

"Indeed."

"See. And I can see it in your eyes. You adore him as well. Asgardians don't normally get flustered about these things. It's a simple matter. Love is precious and a bond is more so. Now…tell him yes so we can get back to sleep hence forth." She stared up at Loki in a stupor. Say yes. Simple enough to an Asgardian, sure. But to a chick from earth, that was a huge deal. Some overpoweringly romantic dude just offered his hand. That was monumental to her. Especially her.

"Say yes Dars. I gotta work in the morning." Jane spoke finally. Darcy hung the phone up by throwing it across the room without breaking eyes with Loki. This amused him so he smiled. He offered his hand and she took it. He got her to her feet and held her steady. "I'm sorry. I suppose I should try and blend in better. Your customs are still a blur." He chuckled a bit when she swayed again. He held firm to her shoulders until he was sure she could stand on her own.

When she found herself again she turned and staggered across the room and plopped down on the couch. "If I say yes. Then what?" She asked, looking up, watching him approach. "Well…then , upon agreeing, I'll take you to Asgard and we'll recite vows. It's really that simple. Then you'll be mine. You'll be a queen might I add…" His tone was sly. She jerked her head his way and locked eyes. "Sold!" She barked then shook her head. "Wait whoa…easy Darcy…" She muttered to herself, going back to staring blankly at the television.

"Wish for me to make it work? Turn it on?" He asked as he took up the remote. Bruce had taught him about TV…and it was a guilty pleasure of his now. He hit the power button and some infomercial filled the room. "Oooh Slap Chop!" Loki sang out as he sat on the floor. Bothered not by her indecision. She blinked a few times and watched him engage in a crappy broadcast. Was he for real? This was new. All this time he was this mature, yet playful man. And here he was…sucked in by the Slap Chop.

Her brow arched as she eyed him up and down. He was perfect for her, she decided. He was smart, strong, protective. He had a way with words that most times had her confused, but it worked both ways. He was romantic when he wanted to be, and always gentle with her. There was an air of mystery about him that could draw her in…and now…he liked shitty infomercials. "Yes." She said simply.

THE END

Spoot: PLEASE LET ME GO!

Loki: *yanks chains* Quiet you.


	3. Darcy's Lesson

Spoot: PLEEEEASE! It's too early. I have no plot bunnies!

Loki: *Adjusts some chain* Then I'll hunt one down. WRITE!

Darcy's Lesson

Loki chuckled as he watched his lady plop over. She was in the arena training ring on Asgard. And at this point she was being harassed by a Bilge Snipe pup. It was just small enough to keep her pinned. Any bigger and it would have killed her. Thor leaned over the side and held out a hand. "Do not help her, brother. Let her fend for herself. She's not like Jane." He eyed his Loki. "She's not in distress." As he finished, his point was proven when the pup let out a squeal. Both men looked down and laughed.

Darcy had the squirmy ugly beast in a headlock. "Careful my darling Rose!" Loki laughed out, "It is just a baby!" She looked up at him then shoved the monster aside. "Wait are you serious?!" She looked to the creature and her expression softened. She got to her feet and approached it. "What is she doing…" Thor muttered. Loki was ignoring him, taking to leaning over the rope railing of the ring…anticipating what was about to happen. "Here it comes…" He hissed.

Darcy knelt down in front of the pup and held out a hand. She began to click her tongue a bit and before long she had gained trust and was in a fit of giggles as she played with the creature. "YES!" Loki bellowed as he pointed. "You see that brother! Look how she tames it! She'll do wonders!"

"Indeed…" Came a voice. "She will make a formidable wife." Both men turned and spotted Odin approaching. He gestured to a chambermaid who turned and got him a drink. "Hello Father." Thor said solemnly, with a bow. Loki just rolled his eyes. "Kiss ass." He muttered. He was about to say more, but two arms wrapped around his neck from behind, and the force almost tugged him backwards. He turned his head and met faces with Darcy.

She kissed his face wherever her lips would land, making a joke of their affections. Even laughing when she poked his eye with her lips. She stopped and looked up when she heard a man clear his throat. She made eyes with Odin and sucked in a breath, letting Loki go. "Shit…is that your dad?" She whispered. Thor nodded. Loki just shrugged. "Kinda?" He muttered.

"I am." He began, "Odin, Allfather and king of Asgard. Welcome my dear." He held out his hand to her and she took it, allowing him to help her from the ring. "You are quite the fighter young lady, and compassionate as well. Yes you'll do nicely." She blinked a few times and looked to Loki. "Uuuhhhh? What for?" She asked, looking back at the older man. "Wait did you say king?"

Odin nodded. "And when my time comes, Thor shall take my place as such, but for now, I rule over this land." Darcy's eyes narrowed as she turned back to her husband to be. "I thought you said…." Loki held his hands up. "He's not my father." He barked. "Remember! I'm not runner up for his throne!" She looked back to Odin and took note that he was chuckling. "I like how she puts him in his rightful place!" He mused with a chuckle. Thor was nodding as he giggled. "Wait so then…" She turned back to him. "Who's your father? What will you be ruling over?" She regretted this question when the three men all smiled that devil smile.

Darcy bowed to Heimdall and giggled when he bowed as well. This was a joke they had now. The first time she met him she thought he was a king. She bowed and he tried to correct her but lost and bowed as well. "Open the Bifrost, we wish to travel to Jotenheim." Loki barked as he walked by, ignoring them. "Is he always like this?" she asked, causing the large man to chuckle. "Indeed. His temper matches his height." Darcy covered her mouth in an attempt to block the laughter, but it failed and Loki turned on a dime and glared.

"Something funny?" He snapped. "Don't bother to answer. That was rhetorical." He reached out and put a hand on the Bifrost sword, only to have it slapped away. "Hinny said no touchy." She joked then looked up. "Seriously….Hinny? Hammy? Hii…"

"Heimdall." He corrected gently, as always. Loki let out a growl and threw his hands up. "OOOOHHH WHY DON'T YOU JUST KISS HIM!" He snapped, causing Heimdall to laugh. He was taken aback by the lips pecking his cheek. He smiled sweetly and bowed his head to her. This sent a shockwave of rage through the room. Loki grabbed his bride to be and pulled her away from him. She was laughing. By now she was used to his overpowering jealousy. She liked to agitate it sometimes, just to keep him on his toes.

"I don't find this funny!" He barked. She sucked in a giggle and looked up at him. "Ohh relaaax pookie!" she jumped up and latched onto his solid frame then made her way around and took to riding on his back. "Come on! Lets go to…yo…gabbagabba!" Loki rolled his eyes and sighed. "Jotenheim…" He corrected…again. "That! Yes! Come on! I wanna meet your parents! Are they short like you? I wanna see where you come from! I hope there are plenty of beaches…oooh! Lets invite your parents…to the beach…and have drinks! Because…not gunna lie…so nervous right now…I might puke….I mean I might actually puke…like a verp."

"Verp…?" Loki muttered as he eyed her over his shoulder. "You know! Like a vomit and a burp!" She hugged around his neck and looked to the other man. "Do the sword thinging my good man! Send us to Yogabbagabba!" Heimdall chuckled as he rolled his eyes. He shoved the sword down and gave it a turn, and from there the tunnel opened.

They landed on a desolate landscape. All the while Darcy was still chattering away about nothing. Her voice now echoed around her. She went silent as she looked around at the frozen land. "So I guess beach party is out…" She muttered. Something large moved in the distance and her blood ran cold. Loki was either unaware, or he didn't care. He was busy putting a large fur shall over her shoulders. "Come along, time is restricted here." He barked in short. He watched her a second then turn to see what she was staring at. His eyes widened as a big horrid beast charged at them. Darcy let out a scream and ducked.

There were no sounds of carnage. No smell of freshly ripped flesh. The only sound was Loki, hollering to be saved. She panicked and turned to the fight, ready to help or die trying. She gasped as she watched this beast…lick…her husband to be. He was on his back trying to push the terrible away. "FLUFFY NO!" He laughed hard and rolled on his side, trying to get away. "Down girl! I know! I know…" He looked up at his lady and blinked in confusion. "Ah yes….you remember that little monster you were playing with?" She nodded slowly…

"This is it's mother…" He laughed as the color drained from her face. "Oooh…well….now I see where…it gets its….good? Looks?" She shrugged. The creature looked to her and licked its lips. Darcy held up her hands in surrender as it inched closer to the human. Fluffy sniffed her….then licked her one good time, head to toe. From there it walked away, making sure to step on Loki's gut on the way. Darcy was frozen in place, not by ice, but by disgust. She was covered in what could only be…drool.

Loki sat up and looked to her. He had to laugh at the state the woman was in. He stood and pulled her along, ignoring her odd muttering. "She likes you…so that's good." He said as he looked to her. She blinked a few times then looked to him as well. "So she's your pet?" She asked with a cock of the head. He nodded then shook his head, disagreeing with himself. "Yes and no….you see…our people don't keep pets…we have companions…I do not force her to live anywhere…she doesn't belong to me and I don't belong to her. Honestly she doesn't even have a name. Poor slob…I just call her Fluffy for sport…" He was a chatter box…and she was starting to notice. Everything about him was changing right before her eyes. He was…jolly. And he was talkative. He was even more playful than usual. Something about this place made him…normal.

"And I don't think it should really be discussed. No, to me…it should be left out of any decorum…hell if they started with it…I dunno what I would do….guess buy some furniture and give the Snork a name!" He looked to her and tilted his head. She hadn't been listening. She was miles away. "Something troubles you…." He stopped and took her hand. She shook her head as she smiled. "No…just noticing…"

"Noticing?" He urged, for she had trailed off. She once more was staring at something in the distance. He looked into her eyes and spotted the tiny reflection. He giggled and turned around. "Darcy…" He began, holding out his hand to a large…ice covered man… "This…is my father…Laufey…king…of Yogabbagabba." The large man lifted his brow. "Yo…what?" He bellowed. This caused Darcy to squeak and hit her knees, bowing to this man. "It's a joke. Not to worry…" Loki turned, ready to introduce her…but failed to find her. He looked around then turned. Laufey was sitting on his throne now. He propped his head up on his hand and pointed downward with a finger. He honestly…looked bored.

Loki turned and looked down. "Ah! There you are!" He lifted her up and turned her to him. "My father. So now you've met."

"I know not…of who this woman is…so clearly my boy…we have not met…"

"She…..is a person!" He sang out. Darcy was in a fit of fear…but that stopped her. She jerked around and glared at him. "I can see she is a person…boyyy…." Laufey barked, now impatient. "She is also…a woman…so…person and a woman…eh?! Pretty nifty right?!" Loki joked, trying to avoid…something. Darcy began to bat her lashes in disbelief. "Can I….talk to you…somewhere?!" Loki shook his head and tried to move her so she was behind him. She fought him on this though. Laufey's brow rose again as he watched.

"You are…friendly with this woman I see…" He muttered. "You're damn right!" Darcy barked as she pushed Loki out of the way. She stood her ground in front of the massive man and pointed up at him. "He's my fiancé! You know what that means?!" Laufey…looked almost amused. He sat up slowly then stood. "I'm sorry…" She said in a tiny voice as she backed up. She hid behind Loki.

"I cant save you now." He whispered as he eyed her. There was a smirk on his face. "I tried to stop this…" She gasped as she looked to him. His skin was turning blue. She looked to the king who had a hand on his son's shoulder…causing the change in skin. "My boy…at last…..you know….we were so worried about you…." Loki snarled and eyed the large man. "Worried….how…."

"It matters not." Laufey barked, cutting Loki off. He reached over and grabbed Darcy up. She let out a squeal. "Ooohhh this is it…..lesson learned….yup. never can keep my mouth shut…and now its gunna get me eaten by a snow giant."

"Frost giant." Laufey corrected. She looked up at him just as he pulled her into his arms…in a hug. Her eyes widened. "I kinda feel like Bugs Bunny when that giant snowman dude wanted to keep him as a pet, you know what I mean?" Loki laughed hard. He knew what she was talking about at this point and instructed Laufey name her George.

Spoot: Eh. Short and sweet. Took forever though.

Loki: This is unacceptable!

Spoot: Chill Lemon dude!


End file.
